Lessons from Boredom

March 2022

Dear Kaibigan,

Did you embrace hugging last month or choose instead to share your affection in other ways? Since I last wrote you I have been feeling bored as of late during moments of downtime. I found myself disinterested in the shows on TV and gravitating to playing games on my phone or scrolling mindlessly on the internet. I read and re-read the same sentence in a book and noticed that my mind had floated and stayed in the thought of being elsewhere. I was spending my leisure time in a state of boredom. Can you relate to this experience? What does ‘boredom’ feel like for you? It feels for me on some days as tension in my shoulders and neck and my mind wandering off in thought after thought. On other days, I can tell I’m feeling bored by multi-tasking and unable to focus, like talking on the phone while scanning the room for something to do. On some occasions I engage in an activity without feeling pleasure or satisfied. Sometimes I go to my kitchen in search of a snack even though I may not be hungry. I’m trying to fill myself with something and yet it may not even be what I want or need. I decided to pay attention to this sensation of and state of boredom. I did so with a curiosity to view boredom as an entity in my life whose role it is to guide me. I share with you now, kaibigan, what I’ve learned from boredom and how it serves me.

Boredom is a teacher indicating that a current activity or situation isn’t providing meaning for me. I then remembered a distinction between the state of boredom versus the trait of boredom. The ‘state boredom’ suggests one is feeling bored in a specific situation, while ‘trait boredom’ refers to how vulnerable one is to boredom. I don’t know exactly how much of my trait boredom has been contributing to my state. What I can attest to is that boredom is a valuable teacher because of its psychological function. It alerts us that our current situation is not meaningful, exciting, appealing, or pleasing to us. Like any schoolteacher or professor, boredom will give us information to educate us in hopes that we will act on that knowledge for our betterment. Like any student, we have the option to pay attention and ask questions or we risk missing the lesson because we’re distracted, stubborn or arrogant to think that we already know, it’s unimportant and irrelevant, or we will just get over it without discomfort. How we respond to boredom’s lessons is also a choice that we have, even if we can’t predict when we will feel bored.

Boredom is our brake pad and gas pedal. We can take ownership of our state of boredom and use it to propel us to move out of our current situation and into one that is meaningful, exciting, interesting, or engaging by intentionally seeking to learn, trying out new activities, changing our habits, interacting with those who add value to our lives, and engaging in our lives with an open mindset. Or we can use boredom to inhibit us from pursuing interests and positive change. We can use it to deter us from decisions that will weaken our wellness, like using substances or engaging in high-risk behaviors or opting to stop learning both on our own and through formal avenues.

Boredom sparks interest and curiosity in our educational wellness. Here at The Giving Well, Laura and I define ‘educational wellness’ as a formal learning through schooling, training, and workshops to expand our intelligence and acquirement of skills’. Our workshops, workbooks and other services are designed to feed into your educational wellness. More importantly, to sustain your entire wellness health. Do you remember the classes at school or training course in your profession that you liked and made you feel excited? How about the ones that you got through only because it was required or you were told that was a better option for college, your future, your job yet you forced yourself to go through it feeling bored, resentful or with dread? What if you had leaned on that boredom and questioned how come that class did not appeal to your mind and made you feel inspired? Would you have countered that experience by taking a class or training that did relate to a topic that you found intriguing? Boredom, if you pay attention, may be a muse to follow an interest through formal learning situations such as going through a training, class or workshop.

My argument is that if you use boredom in terms of how it serves you and your educational wellness, you may experience a healthy dose of questioning the kind of topics, skills, or activities you want to learn from a knowledgeable instructor. Educational wellness isn’t relegated to being in school. You can take classes on any subject matter that appeal to you regardless of age and phase in life. You want to learn how to bowl? There are bowling instructors. You want to learn how to paint? Take an art class. You want to learn Italian or Spanish? There are language courses in Adult Schools, online and through private lessons. Does the sound of a violin being played induce motivation to learn yourself how to play? Look up a violin teacher in your area. There are many free courses offered online and in communities across the world, along with investing in paid-for classes. It’s up to you think on what you want to learn and go snooping to find a class or workshop to feed into your educational wellness and satisfy your craving to learn.

Boredom can be dismissed or minimized by family and cultural norms. My junior high school had a secret pal ritual where teachers and 8th grade students were partnered and asked to write notes of encouragement to one another for a month with clues about our identity by sharing our interests and activities at school. At the end of the month, we got to reveal our identities and give a gift based on the person’s favorite snacks and interests. My secret pal turned out to be the woodshop teacher. He presented me this gorgeous small wooden bowl that was stained and glossed. He made it in his workshop at school, in between classes, and had filled it with my favorite sweets. I was awestruck at the beauty of his present and the thoughtfulness. My peers who were in his class explained the process in making that bowl, the range of stain colors, and the drying time. I was deeply moved by this teacher’s skill. It was a pivotal moment of experiencing the craft of an artist and being fascinated with a handmade artifact.

That experience has stuck with me because I remember thinking I had no idea what ‘woodworking’ was at the time. My parents directed me like patrol officers to taking on electives that were what they referred to as ‘academic’. Woodshop, home economics and any class of the like was not on the parental list of approved elective options. I hadn’t considered woodshop or another elective that was off the list because it wasn’t introduced to me nor was it an option encouraged by my parents and relatives or any adult in my Filipino community. I was that obedient 8th grader who signed up without resistance for 9th grade biology and pre-algebra. So many intro-to types of courses that I was eligible to take based on assessment exams and my grades which made those classes even that more elite in my parents’ eyes. As an immigrant and one who grew up in an immigrant family, these classes had academic eminence while the other electives that would have taught me skills in using my hands to create and stimulate my mind in learning a trade did not have clout. The conventionally deemed academic courses symbolized my intellectual ability and affirmed for my parents their decision to immigrate for a better life for the family. I recall times when I was bored with class work and projects, therefore, I procrastinated or didn’t put a lot of effort. I went through the process because it was what a good student did. I wasn’t intellectually inspired by my education in these situations, yet the electives I chose were parent and culturally approved. There I was excelling, and feeling bored.

Many of us will comply throughout our academic career to take the courses that are necessary for our degree and based on what we are taught are important or credible through the filters of our parents and culture. This means we can sacrifice, without our realization in that moment, exploring what types of subjects heightens our imagination and furthers our education. Our multicultural influences may downplay boredom to not applying ourselves or not trying hard enough. Boredom is viewed as completely wrong and maybe even our fault we’re feeling bored. This is not a criticism of any culture. I’m pointing out the influence cultural norms can have in how we view learning, ways to learn and the usefulness of boredom. It would be ideal if we can take the required coursework to graduate or complete a program while also being encouraged to dabble in courses for fun and because they enhance our minds. Our educational wellness is not just about grades and degrees. It is also advancing our knowledge through the means of learning about a topic or discipline from someone who has knowledge and expertise on that subject that we find stimulating. My appreciation for woodwork started on that meeting of secret pals which lead me to question what I wanted to learn for the sake of learning and doing what I found to be intriguing.

Boredom can shine a flashlight that our brain wants to learn, our hands want to create, and our bodies want to move. I know I’ve missed out in pursuing interests and outlets for creative expression because my Filipino family and AAPI community indoctrination on what constitutes as ‘academic’ and worthy of my brain space discounted classes like woodshop. I’ve had to work hard to listen to boredom because it may be telling me that I have an unrealized interest or that I am hungry for knowledge that a class or other formal means can satisfy. My curiosity kicks in when I pay attention, and I can brainstorm what kind of activity may be fun and which ones I can do through a training, a workshop or class. Art? Music? Dance? Design? A cooking class or strength training class at a gym with an instructor or an online video are still formal ways of learning new information and skills. Look to your state of boredom and to where it’s shining it’s light in terms of what you want to learn.

Boredom allows for bravery. I worked at a high school in the Bay Area where the student population was primarily composed of Filipinos, Tongans, Samoans, Latinos, and Black Americans. I had students come to see me and talk about their frustrations with their parents for dissuading them from taking classes that they wanted, such as auto body because “that’s not going to make you successful” or sewing because “you can’t make a living doing that”. Some students chose to get high before coming to school to get them through the day because “I’m so bored” or showed up only for their elective courses that they liked. These students wanted to use their interest as motivators to invest in their educational wellness and be able to learn or fine-tune their skills. They didn’t feel bored with these elective courses that focused on learning a trade and creating. They did feel distressed and bored with math or science. So, they challenged what was taught to them as the rigid or only path to take in terms of their education. They dared to speak up in their families and state that they wanted to be mechanics and not a doctor or lawyer or nurse. They were paving a new path despite criticism from family and confusion or fear on their part. The seniors who were face-to-face with the existential question of ‘what do I want to be when I grow up’ showed even more bravery. Some chose to pursue a job before or upon graduation because they wanted to save money, help their families pay for basic needs or they were unsure of the kind of school they wanted to enter. Some chose to postpone their higher education because a 4-year school was a mismatch for what they were craving in terms of their educational wellness.

The pressure students experience to pick classes to prepare them for college or to pursue a 4-year program is tremendous. Some people want or are better served by vocational programs and trade schools. These academic settings may be what is interesting, stimulating and  engaging for them. These types of classes would be feeding their educational wellness rather than starving it. What are the ramifications of depriving ourselves of learning through a program or other formal means that will be fulfilling rather than boring? A path that means we expand on our intelligence and acquirement of skills while feeling joy and engaged? If you are a person who postponed your educational pursuits or have been inhibited for reasons out of your control, I urge you to consider finding alternative means to learning and acquiring knowledge in an area that is exciting for you. If you are the parent or caregiver of someone who doesn’t feel fulfilled or well-suited for certain academic courses or path, consider having a dialogue in asking them what types of subjects or industry attracts them or are curious about. And then collaborate with them on how they can tap into these disciplines. If you are part of the disability community and require accommodations, know that there are free learning support programs and services in educational settings and elsewhere. There are laws in America that protect and support your right to learn. Learning is a part of living. We might was well summon our bravery and seek for ways we want to learn rather than be bored, even if it means we’re going against what is traditional, common, or ordinary.

Kaibigan, what are your lessons from your state of boredom? Below are reflection questions, as our pasalubong for this month, to learn about your boredom and be an active participant in your relationship with it:

·       Describe your bodily sensations when you are feeling bored.

·       List out the thoughts that come up when you’re in a state of boredom.

·       Think back to your days as a student. What classes or subjects most inspired you? What about them was interesting and captured your attention? 

·       Which classes or subjects were boring and discouraged you from learning? How come you didn’t take interest in these subjects?

·       What types of workshops, training, classes and other formal settings have you taken that have been pleasurable, useful and intriguing?

·       What have you been postposing to learn? How come?  

·       Imagine all the barriers to acquiring this knowledge or skill magically disappears. What steps do you take to get you to learn?  

·       What are your lessons from your boredom? What does your boredom tell you about your interests and personality?  

We can use boredom to starve our educational wellness or to feed it based on our action or inaction. Boredom brings us a myriad of lessons. Maybe your boredom teaches you similar lessons as mine. Perhaps yours presents you its teachings in subtle ways or in very loud, dramatic forms. Boredom can humble us. Boredom builds community amongst us who crave learning to advance our knowledge and acquire skills. Your state of boredom is a guide. Allow yourself to examine it. Listen to it. Boredom can and does serve you.

Encouraging you to pay attention to your boredom,

 Angel, on behalf of The Giving Well