Play in the Mindset of Abundance

June 2021

Dear Kaibigan,

How do we create playfulness, fun and relaxation for ourselves? Visiting with friends and loved ones, celebrating special occasions, and going somewhere can be fun for many and can be an opportunity to be playful with others through games, bantering and the like. There are those of us who can also be playful and create fun and relaxation when we’re by ourselves through our interests. Some people can have a hard time being creative in how they spend their time alone and with others. I’ve heard from some that they don’t have the time, or they don’t have the money, or they just can’t. These words reflect a lacking mindset. It’s easy with this mindset to focus on what one does not or cannot have which naturally tapers our creative minds and dampens our ability to see what is possible for ourselves.

Playfulness requires the use of our five senses and activates pleasure feelings in each of us. Positive feelings help keep our stress hormone, cortisol, levels down. Playing also uses our creativity which resides in the same place in our brain as patience and empathy. We strengthen our mental fitness through play. How do you play? Are you unsure or did you automatically react with “I don’t know”? In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I ask clients to think in terms of abundance. What do you have now? What has worked before? What can you use? How can you build on what you are already doing or what has worked for you? I am asking them to pull from what they do have and what they are already capable of as a way to generate more ideas.

I may have a lot of tasks to get done in a day or week for work or at home. I also know that my every second is not focused on task-oriented activities. When I pause in midst of my day, or even better, when I start my day asking, “how do I want to enjoy today?” or “what kind of an experience do I want for today?” I come up with at least one thing. Sometimes it’s taking a walk after work before I start making dinner or doing a chore. Other times it’s listening to music that soothes me while I look out my window. On some days I read for at least 30 minutes (timer is optional). I volunteer my time on meaningful causes. I garden and it may mean that I simply water the plants I have indoors and outdoors, or I am doing some manual labor of love through trimming, pruning and planting. A way that I am playful with others is that I have a tea party with family or friends. I have my spread of teas and sweets and present them in antique wares that I’ve collected through the years. Laura and I are playful together by coining “Hat Day” and we wear hats during a day together, regardless of what we are actually doing.

I point out that these activities of enjoyment or relaxation are accessible for me in that they are already a part of my home and in my possession, and many of them do not require me to spend money or travel to somewhere far. I use what I already have, my physicality for instance, and I make a commitment to having at least one way that I can have fun on my own or with someone. I build on what I have and in the place that I am in to creatively explore what I can do to be playful in my day.

What do you have in abundance? Use the creative part of your brain to build on what you have been and are already doing that you enjoy or what you have been inspired to do. You can start to tap into your creative mind by looking at the ways you had fun and played since childhood.

Our pasalubong for you is to list the ways that you are playful in your life:

What did you do as a child for fun or play?

 How did you use your imagination as a child?

Of the activities you listed above, which of them do you want to do now? How would you go about doing them? How often?

What is around you that you can use to relax?

Which interests and hobbies can you incorporate into your day or adapt into your day so you can have enjoyment?

Which of the activities from childhood and now that you listed would be the first way you will play this month? The second? The third?

If you’re still having trouble listing the ways that you have been playful or maybe you weren’t allowed to be, I advise that you watch cartoons, movies or shows geared for kids. These exemplify creativity in action.

Go on and play,

Angel, on behalf of The Giving Well